Gulls of the Liffey

As I walk through the heart of Dublin city

past the Claddagh shops and pubs,

by the foul smelling river, I see an eternity of

                                    sickly birds.


Disguised as arched grey clouds,

a less-hazardous smog than the city is used to,

their presence alters the wind when they are united

                                    in flight.


 The gulls attack the unsuspecting crumbs, paying no mind to

the camera-wielding tourist who avoids the width of the

broad wings. Like vultures to a festering corpse they dine

                                    in solitude.


Quick to detest, eager to turn away,

we go about our business,

unaware that we are no different than the gulls of

                                    the Liffey.


At first, second, third glance, the gulls

are nothing but winged vermin,

overpopulating benches, streets, and statues. Lonely,

                                    rejected creatures.


Like a ravenous famine, humanity swarms

as it chases after escaped longings.

As the gulls starve, we starve for much

                                    much more.


Weaving through the heart of Dublin, we swarm

like the Gulls of the Liffey

in a desperate search for our only chance

                                    of survival.


Staffa (An Original Prose Poem)


This tiny little island, with beauty large enough to satisfy the universe, is almost too breathtaking to be real. This island is home to nature and nothing else. People come and go, but it is still a place of sweet seclusion not yet ruined by gift shops and litter. This is a place where the waves go from cerulean to frothy white just before they dance onto dry land and disappear. The water is so blue, yet so crystal clear enough to discover the small wildlife hidden underneath. As you turn away from the water, a salty spray mixed with a cool welcoming breeze bids you farewell. Climbing higher, higher, and higher still, you feel as if you’re on top of the world. The blazing sun is warm on your face, yet goose bumps creep onto your skin as a chilly wind sneaks up on you from behind. As you balance your way across this beauty’s uneven terrain, you stop for a moment to examine the flowers. Clusters of white, yellow, purple, and pink dot the island in perfect patterns. The grass is soft under your feet and very pleasant to touch. Farther on, your curiosity kicks in and you crawl to the very edge of a cliff. You’re not afraid, just surprised at just how far away from the water you truly are. Right before your eyes, the warmth of the afternoon sun lightly kisses the hundreds of sea gulls who have been nesting in the sides of the cliff. This majestic scene brings a tear to your eye because it feels as if you are in a fairy-tale land. Backing slowly away from the cliff, the silly wind runs into you again, wanting to play. Once you chase the wind as it skips across the rocks, you come to the cave and really begin to feel as if you are in a pirate story. You are sad when you realize that you cannot go all the way inside because of the dangerous rock formation, but at the same time you are happy to have made it this far. When it is time to take the boat back home, you say goodbye to Staffa. The waves crash, the sea gulls take flight, and the breeze blows in response.

The Unexpected Accommodation (An Original Satire)

“Welcome, friends, to your humble abode for the next nine consecutive months!” The smile never left Suzie the Tour Guide’s face. “Let me just see if I have my numbers correct!” She counted off six of us. “Wonderful! There are six people and four bedrooms. You can make it work. Now, if you’ll just follow me into the house. Be careful on the front porch. A custodian fell through those boards just last month. Not to worry, though, he only suffered from a broken leg. He’ll be walking again in no time!

Be careful when you shut that door behind you! You will see up at the top where the glass doesn’t quite meet the top of the door. One slam could send the entire thing shattering to pieces. There is also bit of a draft in the foyer and common room because of it, but it is quite tolerable if you bundle up.

This is the lovely common room. You will soon notice that it is notoriously dim in here. That is because there is no overhead light. We would love to provide you with some remarkable floor lamps, but that is simply not in our budget at the moment. Get those lamps immediately, friends. The corners of the furniture are sharp, and fumbling around in the dark can be very dangerous. You see this hole right in front of the couch? Oh, no, it is not a result of termites. Someone was vacuuming and chipped a large chunk of wood out of the floor. Replacing the wood flooring would cost an arm and a leg and then some. Just think of it this way, whoever is doing laundry in the basement can look up and wave to the people in the living room! There can never be enough bonding between roommates, I always say.

Follow me to the dining room. This wooden table has resided in this house for fifteen years. We have provided a tablecloth that I’m sure you’ll find most beautiful. It will do very nicely to cover up the profanities carved into the table by some of our more…uncultured residents. To the left of the dining room is the kitchen. You’ll be happy to know that we found the source of the ant problem in the pantry. Someone spilled a jar of honey and left it there for God knows how long! Keep your food sealed and the door closed and you shouldn’t have any issues with those pesky little critters. The stove is very old. Only two of the burners work and if you don’t keep a sharp eye on the food, it could burst into flames. That’s only happened twice, that I know of, and the fires were put out with no trouble at all. The smoke detectors weren’t even disturbed. Isn’t that marvelous?

Shall we go to the upper level of house? Each stair creaks with every step, so sneaking around to try to pull a prank is a difficult task. First I’ll show you the bathroom, the only bathroom in the house I might add, so I hope you folks are good with time management. The shower is quite small, so I wouldn’t spend very much time in there if you’re claustrophobic. The toilet makes a loud whistling sound for ten minutes after every flush, so close the bathroom door to suppress the volume when you’re finished. Each of the bedrooms has big closets and beds that are high off the ground, so I believe you’ll have very efficient storage space. Just a hint, though. I’d take a vacuum to the carpeting before I settle anything in these rooms.

If you’ll follow me back downstairs, I’ll show you the basement. On our trip, let me point out the windows. Each window has a set of blinds. I wouldn’t handle them too much because they have been known to fall apart with just a simple touch. Entire sets have been known to fall directly off the window as if by magic! But, I digress. Ah, here is the basement. If you are over 5 feet tall, remain cautious. The ceiling is quite low, but as you can see, there is enough storage space to spare. Stay away from the far right corner in the back, however. That is usually where the most flooding occurs. This is completely irrelevant, but that is also the spot where the water and sewage runs when the septic tank backs up. But fret not for a moment. That only happened three times before and the whole area has been bleached. Spick and span, don’t you know?

Well, folks, that brings us to the end of the tour. If you run into any problems, which I’m sure you will, feel free to contact me or any of my associates at the main office. I hope you will all be very comfortable here. I’m sure you will adjust to these accommodations just splendidly.

At that point, Suzie the Tour Guide walked out of the house with an exclamation of, ‘Happy Housing!’ as if it were some form of an apology.”


Welcome to my new blog!

I invite all of you to read my prose, poetry, and other miscellaneous writings that I conjure up from time to time. Creativity is extremely important to me, so I wanted to have my own space where I can express myself and of course gain feedback from you! So, my loves, I encourage you all to sit back, relax, grab a cuppa tea, and enjoy!